


The Trouble with Normal

by Rosalita



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-12
Updated: 2010-07-12
Packaged: 2017-10-10 12:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosalita/pseuds/Rosalita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a Goa'uld invasion, Jack contemplates normality and Daniel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble with Normal

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to jenlev and mirabile-dictu for catching my misspellings and the philosophical suggestions.

The trouble with normal is it only gets worse. -- Bruce Cockburn

Jack always got the willies watching Daniel strip and clean his weapon. No matter how often he saw it, and he'd seen it hundreds of times, the sight still disturbed the hell of out of him. It was all wrong. Daniel should be digging in the dirt, translating tablets, surrounded by books and the smell of paper and ink. Instead, he was surrounded by dirty rags, gun oil, and desperation. He shouldn't be so skillful in breaking down his weapon, hands flying over the metal, barely looking at the pieces as he cleaned and oiled them. All the while trading crackpot theories and insulting Budge with Martin, who had been a doctoral candidate in archeology at some Ivy League school before the shit came down. Martin was probably the only Egyptologist besides Daniel left in North America and he had to end up in Jack's camp. If Martin had picked another time to visit relatives in the Springs, he'd probably be annoying some other guy in a camp somewhere else.  Or dead.

Still, it was what Daniel should be doing: prattling on about this dynasty and that kingdom. It was a lot like the old days when Daniel and his department would huddle together during SGC social occasions and laugh loudly at jokes that no one else got, mostly because they were told in dead or alien languages, or worse--dead alien languages. But that was normal back then or as normal as possible when you consider that they spent their days traveling to other planets and fighting parasitic snakes who thought they were gods.

That had been their normal and now it was all gone.

They had spent the afternoon burying two more of their own – a young mother and one of their best fighters. Jack still had dirt under his nails from digging the graves. Tricia died from a cold that turned into pneumonia. Frank died when a minor wound got infected. Stuff that would have been shrugged off in the old days, but now simple, everyday illnesses turned into something much more serious because they had no medicine.

And there sat Daniel, cleaning a P-90 and chattering about the 14th Dynasty or some shit. It was making Jack sick, and so angry at the sheer waste of it all that he wanted to hit someone. Daniel was starting to look like a good target. Jack knew he needed to get out of there before he exploded. He scowled at Daniel, as if that would make him stop talking.

Daniel raised his eyebrows at Jack and slapped the last piece of the weapon into place. His hair was streaked with gray and there were lines on his face that had not been not put there entirely by time. He still never missed a thing, and he followed Jack with his eyes as Jack got up from the table and went outside

It was warm for October, but Jack huddled into himself wishing he'd brought a jacket and knowing it wouldn't keep the chill away because the chill had nothing to do with the weather. After eight years, he should be used to all this. Eight years of hiding and fighting and scrounging for whatever supplies they could get. Eight years of burying their people.

The camp Jack led was well hidden in the mountains near Colorado Springs and its inhabitants were the remnants of the SGC and other survivors from the Mountain and surrounding military bases, plus any civilians who'd managed to escape the initial roundups by Baal's Jaffa.

Baal. Jack couldn't even think the name without it sounding like a curse. Of course it had been Baal who'd finally breached Earth's security by coming in more ships than anyone had guessed he had. The SGC had fought back with the limited number of 302s available, but it hadn't been enough and Earth had finally surrendered.

But not everyone gave up; there were still pockets of resistance all over the planet. Carter had taken half of the Colorado Springs survivors and moved farther west. Jack hadn't heard from her in some time; he'd have to send somebody out there to check on her group. Communications were non-existent in this new world. Most of Earth's population were slaves to Baal who was sucking dry the planet's resources while simultaneously setting technology for the people back decades, if not centuries.

Not everyone gave up and not everyone survived. Hammond had been killed in the fight for the SGC. So had Ferretti.

And Teal'c.

Teal'c had survived the battle only to die a few months later when his Tretonin supply – he'd hidden a stash of it topside just in case – had run out. Even after all these years, the loss still cut through Jack like a knife in the heart. Teal'c had understood Jack in ways that even Daniel could not. Especially on days like today, he missed his friend's steadiness and wisdom.

One thing that Jack took immense satisfaction in was knowing that it stuck in Baal's craw that he had survived. And Daniel, survivor extraordinaire. Jack often joked that at the end of the world, the only living things left would be cockroaches and Daniel. Daniel never found it funny.

Jack took a path through the woods that led to the river. The late afternoon sky was cloudless and that was good because it would be getting dark soon and Jack would need the moon to light the way back. Batteries were too precious to waste on ill-tempered strolls and he hadn't thought to bring a torch. Maybe Daniel would bring one.

When Jack reached the river, he sat on the bank watching the fish jump in and out of the water as it rushed over the rocks. One of the few advantages to this whole apocalypse thing was that  wildlife was making a comeback. He wished now he hadn't rushed out of camp without his fishing gear. He could have made it look like he wanted to bring some fresh fish for dinner instead of what it really was: a temper tantrum.

He was getting too old for all this. The rough living, the fighting, the death, making decisions, being responsible for all those people B all of it. Goddamn it, he would be 60 in a few days.

He'd always thought that by this age, he'd be retired and living with Daniel in his cabin in Minnesota or at a dig site in Egypt or anywhere, really, as long as they were together. He'd had it all planned out. After the retirement party to end all retirement parties, he'd show up at Daniel's door. It would be late and Daniel would be cranky, but he'd let Jack in because he always did. Jack wouldn't say anything. He'd just let Daniel ask him what the hell he wanted over and over and when he was at his most irate, when his eyes were flashing and he was about to throw Jack out, Jack would pull him in and kiss the hell out of him. He'd never know what hit him, and he'd be Jack's.

He told Daniel all this one night in a fit of despair over the way things had turned out, and Daniel had laughed and commented on his overconfidence with a definite tone of snark in his voice. Well, Daniel could laugh all he wanted because eventually Jack had kissed the hell out of him, Daniel hadn't known what hit him and he was Jack's. And that was the only part of his plan that actually worked out.

The sound of leaves crackling under heavy boots signaled Daniel's approach. Jack lit into him as soon as he came into sight. "Dammit, Daniel, you're making enough noise to wake the dead, much less any Jaffa who might be lurking around."

Daniel ignored Jack's cranky outburst, just like he always did. "Nice evening," he said..

Hands in pockets, he stood for a moment looking at the water. Eventually, he dropped down beside Jack. Neither spoke, but Daniel fidgeted, picking up rocks, examining them in the fading light, then threw them one by one into the river.

Finally, he brushed off his hands and looked at Jack with the permanent squint he'd developed since he'd broken his glasses years ago. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

Daniel snorted softly and maneuvered himself behind Jack. He wrapped his long arms around Jack and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.

"No." Jack said, leaning back into Daniel's embrace and toying with Daniel's denim clad knee.

A know-it-all sound issued from Daniel's mouth. Bastard. "Are you always right?" Jack asked irritably.

Daniel seemed to consider the question. "Well, I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken."

Jack squeezed his knee in acknowledgment of an old, old joke. The sun was setting and they watched the sparkling water turning purple and red with the reflection from the changing sky. Sitting there against Daniel's solidity, listening to the quiet rush of the river and Daniel's even breathing, Jack could almost believe things were normal. That he and Daniel were between missions, spending a little downtime in the woods. Except they'd never done that, had they?

"Rough day," Daniel finally said when Jack let out a sad sigh over a fantasy never realized.

"It never gets to you," Jack said, wincing at how tired and resentful he sounded. "Why doesn't it get to you?"

"It gets to me. What makes you think it doesn't?"

"We buried two people today and you sit around cleaning your weapon and yakking it up with Martin." It wasn't fair, and Jack knew it. There was probably still dirt under Daniel's nails, too.

"Ah," was all Daniel said.

Jack pulled out of Daniel's arms and stood. "Don't 'ah' me like you have all the answers." Daniel stayed silent, squinting in the near darkness, and watched Jack pace.

Jack paced for a long time. He really was being a complete bastard. Daniel didn't deserve to have Jack's anger laid at his feet. Daniel had done what Daniel always did: He'd adapted. Daniel had always been more flexible than Jack, more able to go with the flow, to deflect whatever horrible shit was thrown at him and keep on going.

Jack had very nearly committed suicide and taken an entire planet with him over the death of his son. Daniel had lost his parents, his wife, had died himself several times, and no matter how many times life knocked him down, he got right back up again.

Jack wished he could take some credit for that in the way Daniel could take some credit for making Jack see he still had some reasons for living. But he couldn't. Daniel and his sheer stubbornness got it all.

Finally, he muttered "Jesus" and flung himself back to the ground.

"So, what bothers you more?" Daniel restarted the conversation as if the intervening pacing and muttering on Jack's part had never happened. "My cleaning my gun or 'yakking it up with Martin'?"

"The fact that after all these years, you still call it a gun. Don't you remember what I told you?"

"This is my weapon, this is my gun. One is for fighting, the other's for fun," Daniel recited dutifully, and Jack knew he wasn't fooled by Jack's purposeful evasion for even one second.

"So, let's have some fun," Jack leered and gave Daniel's 'gun' a pat.

It was a distraction, pure and simple. It stopped a conversation that he really had not wanted to have in the first place.  Daniel gave him a knowing look and for an instant, the thought the distraction might fail, but then Daniel was kissing him, giving him permission to lose himself in the heat of Daniel's mouth, in the pressure of Daniel's tongue against his. He pushed Daniel to the ground, pushing Daniel's t-shirt up and his jeans down to his knees. With one hand, he stroked Daniel's smooth, lean body. With the other, he fumblingly undid his own pants. This was going to be down and dirty, no finesse, just a desperate desire to get off.

Jack pushed his body fully against Daniel's. Daniel was nearly as thin as he'd had been when he was the floppy-haired, young archeologist who had opened the stargate, but far harder after the years of fighting and scarcity. Jack nudged the hem of Daniel's t-shirt out of his way with his head and lapped at the exposed brown nipple. Daniel groaned and bucked under him, and Jack pushed down harder and thrust his hips in answer. He didn't want to think anymore. He just wanted to pin Daniel's willing body underneath his, revel in the heat and pleasure of their cocks sliding between their bodies, listen to Daniel's sweet gasps and groans and feel him struggle to get his legs around Jack's body. He pulled the fabric away from Daniel's neck and sucked on the skin he found there, allowing Daniel's writhing to do the work of creating friction for them.

Their bellies were slick with pre-come and sweat, which made the slipping and sliding even better. Daniel had looped one arm around Jack's neck and was using his other hand to grasp Jack's ass and pull him closer. Daniel put a little wiggle into his thrust and sent a pleasurable spasm rocketing through Jack – from his cock up his spine and down to his toes.

He was going to come, and he buried his face in Daniel's sweaty neck. Daniel tightened his hold on Jack and did that twisting thrust again. Jack bit down as he came, tasting skin and sweat and pumping hard. Daniel followed moments later holding onto Jack as if he'd fly apart if he didn't.

They clung to one another quietly in the darkness, gently stroking whatever parts of each others' bodies they could reach, for some time until Jack broke the silence.

"Let's go to Minnesota," he said from the vicinity of Daniel's right nipple.

Daniel's hand stopped stroking and just rested on Jack's head. "Nah, too cold."

"Okay, fine, somewhere warmer, then. Anywhere you want, just as long as it's not here."

Daniel was quiet for a while and Jack thought he might actually be considering the offer, especially since Jack was for once letting him pick the spot. But finally, Daniel said, "You're not going anywhere, Jack."

"Are you saying you don't want to go?"

Daniel made a noise and shifted restlessly signaling his irritation. If Jack hadn't been lying on him, Daniel would be the one pacing. There was only so much of Jack's bullshit he'd put up with and he'd just about reached his limit. "That's not what I'm saying. You know I'd go with you anywhere, even Minnesota, if I thought you were really serious, but I know you're not. You can't leave these people. They need you."

Jack snorted. "There are other people here who are just as capable of command as I am."

"But they're not Jack O'Neill."

"There are days when I wish I wasn't Jack O'Neill."

Daniel's irritation seemed to deflate a little at that. Certainly he understood. There were probably days when he wished he wasn't Daniel Jackson, opener of the stargate, especially on days when people blamed him for everything that had happened. Sometimes being a legend really sucked.

"I'm getting old, Daniel."

Jack felt Daniel's loose grip on him tighten momentarily. "Is that what this is all about?"

"No," Jack lied, "just thought I'd mention it."

Jack's hair moved when Daniel breathed out what was almost a laugh. "I hadn't noticed," he said. "You sure didn't seem old a little while ago."

Jack grinned slightly. "It's all about sex with you, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"This isn't exactly how I imagined my retirement."

"What, having sex in the grass?"

"No, I imagined that, I just thought we'd be doing it at my cabin."

"What makes you so sure I'd be willing?"

"Well, you'd put up quite a fight. 'Jack, I can't possibly live in Minnesota. It's too cold and I have too much work to do and I'm far too important to leave the SGC.'"

Daniel called him a bastard but there was amusement in his voice at Jack's attempt at imitating him.

"In the long run, my constant bitching would wear you down and you'd realize that you could do a lot of your work from the cabin what with the fancy satellite set up and all."

"Uh huh," Daniel said with mock skepticism. "And then what?"

"I'd fish, you'd work. I'd add on to the cabin so you'd have your own office B"

"And you'd pester me constantly."

"We'd have sex all the time," Jack said in a sing-song voice.

"It sounds great," Daniel said softly. "I'm sorry."

Jack didn't have to ask what he was sorry for. Sorry for being right that Jack would never leave these people. Sorry Jack's fantasy retirement would never come true. Sorry that they'd probably both die in some stupid way. Sorry because the invasion had messed up his fantasy of having Jack follow him around Egypt from dig to dig carrying his brushes or whatever. Just sorry.

"We should head back," Jack said.

"Good idea. I've had a rock poking me in the ass for the last hour."

Jack chuckled and stood. "Did you think to bring a torch?"

"Uh, no." Daniel had stood up and was rearranging his clothing.

"Great," Jack muttered.

"Well, if you hadn't been in such a snit . . ." Daniel started and Jack smiled to himself and started down the bank toward the river to wash up.

While Daniel complained about the cold water, Jack, and everything else, Jack found himself looking at the stars. They were so much brighter now that there were no city lights to blot them out. He found himself wishing for his telescope, his deck, and a hot cup of coffee.

He turned back to the river and watched Daniel cleaning himself off in the dim light. On the other hand, maybe having Daniel with him was all the normal he needed.

 


End file.
